There
is a farmer living the middle of the state somewhere in a valley who bears a
plot of farmland, a crop providing immense sustenance for the immediate
area distributing produce such as corn, potatoes, carrots, and lettuce for a
small taste of what’s in store. The value of his reputation grew with the
integrity of his produce, and this happened so quickly that with little time he
built a beautiful home fully establishing his fruitful country. He lived this
prosperous life for years, and life was good, complacently good, until one day
early in summer when working in the field he found a single dandelion and, without
hesitation, picked it from the ground. As a farmer having this flower around is
bad. In the business it’s a rule of thumb: mow it if you want to grow it, pluck
it or you’re stuck with it. This dandelion was dead so he rushed inside and
delicately placed it in the furnace so it couldn’t spread. Then something came
over him, enlightenment and things of that nature. He was a pioneer, but he
hadn’t seen much outside of his groundwork; He hadn’t seen the lighter side of
life. The spherical shape of fluffy seeds reminded him that there wasn’t enough
fluff in his life, and with that fluff he would be able to fly like any other sprout.
His life is too rooted, too weighed down, so of course his first thought is to
lighten up and get out in the world. Then he grabs some cash and lightens his
pockets by going to town with it. In a relatively nearby mountain [like
Lewistown] community he met a sprightly blonde lady, they fell in love, and in
due time they had a son. Soon enough the three relocated back to the farmer’s
estate as a full-fledged family of prosperity.
The
farm’s production increased each year along with the health and growth of their
son. He became stronger and smarter until one day near the end of summertime,
easily the hottest season in recent memory, the boy was overcome with curiosity
about the outside world beyond home on the range. So after home school harvesting
the corn with his dad he asks,
“Dad,
what did you want to be when you were growing up?” His dad jokes that he always
wanted to be ‘stalk broker,’ but assures his son understand that there are
finer things to life than what you do saying,
“I’ve
loved what I’ve done for a long time, but the most fun part is finding out who
you are.“ He suggests that his son leave the valley behind for some time to
find what it is that his son is after and his last words were,
“When
you take off that’s when everything will ignite.” The boy wanted to talk more over
supper, and that evening he asked his mom what she wanted to be when she was
younger. She joked that she wanted to be fireman, but then admitted that she just
wanted to find true love. She said,
“Sure
honey bee there was a time when I wanted to be a ski bum.” She looks over at
the father fostering a worried look giving him a spirited wink then utters,
“By
the way honey this corn is uncomfortably amazing. Its sweetness just might keep
me up all night!” With a smirk the dad reacts,
“Well
maybe you’d be more comfortable having some of the smashing potatoes then? Oh,
and now we’re off topic. Son, tell your mother of what we talked about.” Then
the boy goes off. Taking his parents his advice he talks of his plots to find
himself a wife. His father suggests that if he leaves then he do it over the
winter months and return the farm come springtime whether he has a wife or not.
On
a rather warm day in November the family went on a business trip, distributing
their crop and releasing their son to the world in a familiar surrounding
mountain for three months with two full pockets and one goal…
His
parents easily returned back because the mountain passes were unusually safe.
So the months go by, and unfortunately for much of the winter over much of the state
the conditions were quite precipitous. The winter months came and went and the untypical
climate, the lack of snow buildup and overall moisture, imminently lead to a
drought early in the spring sparking forest fires alarming life on the farm. The
son soon after came home, too. He had been in a dry spell as well and his
thirst for love was exhausted until one day there was a flash wildfire threatening
some homes in a mountain town [like Wilsall] forcing much of the community into
the farmer’s valley. A small mass of townspeople came to farmer’s door asking
for aid. The mom wore a reluctant grin, obviously unhappy with the
developments. She hadn’t even got the chance to catch up with her son, but when
she saw her son’s eyes locked on a pretty girl in the small crowd she acquiesces.
She and the dad decide they’ll offer their hospitality to the townspeople.
Although their quarters didn’t have enough beds to go around they make
mattresses with resources such as sacks of potatoes, hay bales, and pelt
blankets, things of that sort. When makeshifting these beds with his mother the
boy expresses his intrigue for this particular girl,
“She’s
just dandy, mom, just dandy like the flower.”
“If
she’s like a dandelion then that makes her a weed and her kind only spreads
like wildfire.”
“She’s
here because of the them, mother.”
“Well
in fact that’s exactly why she’s here. You had three straight months for sport
out there, and now that you’re home here is where you’re going to start
playing, in front of your mother who hasn’t seen you in three months?”
“Mother,
I’m not arguing with you and do I have to remind you that beside those three
months we spent my entire life together. Let’s just get a bed ready for her,
please.” As this happens he grabs the last potato. Then his mother insists,
“Well
if the potatoes are gone then she’s getting a cot stuffed of that awful sweet
corn. If she can tolerate this year’s shoddy cream of the crop and sleep
through it then I’ll not question her any longer. It will prove she’s hard
enough to get through the tough times.”
“Mom,
at least give her extra straw and pelts.”
“That’s
fine. There are twenty bales in the barn and twenty pelt in the den. She’ll
need it.” In agreement they hastily go greet the pretty girl and show her to
bed where she’s insured that her cot is ‘as comfy as peas in a pod.’
Then
the next morning after everyone was awake and eating breakfast the mom asked
the pretty girl how she’d slept. The girl replied,
“Not
well, my back a little stiff and my dreams were quite eerie.” The mom says in
response,
“Ah,
well I’m so sorry to hear that. There’s nothing like sleeping in your own bed.”
With that her son is summoned over who anxiously approaches the pretty girl
wanting to confess his unconditional love her, but instead timidly asks is
she’d like to hear a corny joke.
(Adapted from "The Princes and the Pea")
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